"Alright, I wanna be the wizard."
The first 'season' of Acquisitions In. was recorded in May 2008- about a month ahead of the release of Dungeons & Dragons 4th edition for which this was a marketing ploy. The Dungeon Master was Wizards of the Coast's Chris Perkins, and the players were webcomic creators: Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik of Penny Arcade and Scott Kurtz of PvP.
Above are the first words recorded on the original cut of that first episode, spoken by Mike Krahulik in reference to which pre-generated character he wanted to play. This quote is so quintessentially D&D, so it seems like a waste now that Wizard's Dungeon Delve podcast now starts this series off with a much less impressive line from Scott Kurtz: "Are we recording now?"
The whole enterprise gets off to a running start as within the first five minutes Jerry Holkins quips "We just started the corporation" in response to Chris Perkins' explanation of their rookie adventuring party status. Within a minute of that seed of an idea being planted Krahulik utters the name he has dreamt up for his wizard "Jim Darkmagic." The tone of the series had been set at that point as the group scoffed, laughed, and built on this goofy premise for a D&D story.
Although the group floated other names for their iconic characters ("Maynard Shortypants" for the dwarf fighter and "Chet Awesomelazer" for the human wizard) and at least one other name for their group ("Kill & Gold Incorporated") they settled on Jim Darkmagic, Binwin Bronzebottom, and Omin Dran- collectively known henceforth as Acquisitions Incorporated or Acq Inc. The fact that they came up with all of this in about 15 minutes and it has stood the test of time these last nearly 10 years is a testament to the comedic talents of these guys.
The first season does work a good way to onboard people to D&D even though it now represents a discontinued line of the game (Perkins warns new listeners at the start of the Dungeon Delve podcast that the rules are from a previous edition, but it's still D&D- although veterans of the Edition Wars might disagree). Newbies have a proxy at the table in the form of Mike Krahulik because this is his first ever tabletop roleplaying game experience, his first time rolling a d20 (he gets a 19), and his first hit of the addictive phenomena that is D&D. I really enjoy hearing him quickly come to understand and excel at the game- the particularly inspiring bit being when he casts ghost sound to create the illusory sound of a party's footsteps into the chamber before him.
The party gets into a couple of long 4th edition combat encounters with goblins and zombies (the first goblin encounter is truly worthy of Yakety Sax as Kurtz himself says), puzzles over the function of some arcane glyphs, and (because Perkins exercises a lot of creative license with the Keep on the Shadowfell module he's running) defeats Irontooth, the 'boss monster' they were looking for. Players around the world that gave this edition a chance might notice that Acq Inc's encounter with Irontooth is decidedly less deadly than it was as printed. If memory serves, many home campaigns ended when the party accidentally face pulled Irontooth after stumbling into his hideout behind a waterfall.
Throughout the whole endeavor, the group only manages to acquire twenty gold pieces before their adventure and recording session ends abruptly at the mention of a riddle. I only consider the first two episodes (the ones DM'ed by Perkins himself) to be canon in the Acquisitons Incorporated universe. The last half of this season was DM'ed by James Wyatt, and all it included was a couple of combats that the group had no chance at winning, a TPK that he weakly worked around, and the unheroic and disregarded death of Binwin Bronzebottom. Holkins makes mention of this portion of the tale briefly at the start of season two by saying of the Winterhaven incident: "There's a single page in the files that just says 'It was pretty bad' and that's it."
This season (especially the first two eps) is a must listen as it rapidly establishes the characters and lighthearted theme of the whole Acquisitions Incorporated series. It has a few good laughs and a few exciting moments (when the rolls aren't single digits) and it is the start of a great series that is still running at PAXs today- although with a much different vibe and cast of characters. Also, even though it is the 4th edition there are still some lessons to be gleaned from Perkins' DM style and the table's approach to helping Krahulik 'learn the ropes.'
Critthulhu gives (the canonical part of) Acq Inc Season One four out of five tentacles!
Check out the start of the series on WotC's Dungeon Delve podcast or on acq-inc.com!
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